I used to find it so difficult expressing myself. This was strange because unlike most people I was brought up in a family where I was encouraged to express my opinions and ask questions. It goes to show that if you don't believe in yourself, no one can do it for you. On the other hand, it is helpful to be encouraged to be yourself at a very young age.
Fortunately, for me, one day I realised that the only way for me to be heard and be effective was to express myself. Self-confidence is defined as belief in yourself and what you're capable of doing. Self-esteem is belief that you're worth of respect from others. Self-confidence is very sexy, that is why we all crave it. It is like a testament that you love and accept yourself and therefore you love and accept other people.
I have heard people saying that those people who like to dominate others are confident but actually, that is a classic example of someone who has low self-esteem. Take control of your self-confidence Going back to taking control of your self-confidence, you need to get into a reflective mode. What do you think you're not? Is it smart enough, cool enough, pretty enough, popular enough, old enough, young enough? Whatever you think you're not is just in your head, seriously.
Here are the 10 things you can do for yourself to improve your self-confidence;
I know it sounds too simple but I love looking good and I always feel upbeat. My confidence is always high when I know I look good. You will find people will compliment you and you get a spring in your step. Your self-confidence meter just rises. Add a bit more juice to your engine by wearing sexy underwear. Even though you're the only one who knows, that feel of beautiful lace on your skin adds a lot to your feel good factor which in turn improves your self-confidence.
This one needs you to go in a quiet corner and think about how you see yourself. What words do you say to yourself? How do you see yourself? Write it down. Take note of the positive words and the negative. Think about those words and think where they came from. Are they your words or words that have been said to you by people who love you who had good intentions but took wrong actions? Most of the time you will find that they are not your words. Write down what you want your self-image to be from now on and read that statement daily.
I have heard people calling themselves stupid and some such ugly words and it breaks my heart every time and at times I have even said don't call yourself that. Take a vow of kindness towards yourself and keep track of your thoughts and your words. Within a short while, you will be able to spot when you're damaging your own self-confidence.
Instead of winging it, when you have to do something, prepare yourself. Whether it is a presentation or a speech make sure you prepare yourself so much that you know you will do a good job. Someone advised me to record myself giving the speech and listen to it daily for a week or so. By the time you deliver it, you know it so well that you can relax and give a good performance. It is true what they say, that practice makes perfect. Your self-confidence grows immensely when you do something well.
When you smile, you trigger the release of endorphins into your body, which make you feel good. You find when you feel good your self-confidence improves greatly. Whenever you smile at strangers, they smile back which makes you feel more connected. When I was a teenager at school, I used to smile before I fell asleep. I always felt great as a teenager, especially after I started this practice and I woke up feeling motivated. The more you smile the better you feel about yourself.
The practice of kindness to others makes you feel good about yourself, which in turn is as good as sharing love with others. Being generous is also good for your self-confidence, that is why we love giving presents so much. While you're being kind to others, always remember to be kind to yourself first, after all you can't give what you don't have.
This is not imposing your will on others but just being true to who you are. I know I am here to love and to demonstrate that to myself I have to reflect on every action that I take. I ask myself if what I did on the day was loving to myself and to others. Love is kind, generous, forgiving and many other traits. I would ask myself when I am keeping a grudge whether that is loving to me and to the person I am holding a grudge towards. Having principles is great and the beauty of it is you can choose which principles are important to you. You will find when you live by your principles, other people will respect them and you. Getting respect is a great boost for your self-confidence.
We’ve all heard about the benefits of gratitude. Gratitude is healing and adds blessings to your life. Gratitude makes you a kinder person and it improves your self-confidence. When you’re in gratitude you see only the good in yourself which helps you to appreciate yourself more. You’re also able to appreciate other people. Keep a gratitude journal. Sometimes I am grateful for my warm bed or ability to smile.
About 4 years ago, I decided to get actively involved in volunteering. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do because I didn’t have a lot of time. I am a single mom, work full time and running a business as well. I got a lot out of the experience that I continue to volunteer whenever I can. If is fun, exciting, and being able to help someone else is a huge boost to my confidence. Most volunteering organisations have hours that suit, so just ask.
I cannot express more strongly how important it is to read. I have always loved books since I was a child. Even then, I was able to have intelligent conversations with adults because I read anything and everything. My wealth of knowledge has helped me be more confident because I end up explaining to people about things they have no idea about. I get less self-conscious and just go with the flow. It’s like always being prepared to talk about a variety of subjects. If you have interesting stories to tell then people love to talk to you as well. Have ever noticed that those people you admire for their self-confidence always have people around them at parties? Self-confidence is very attractive and if you know how to encourage other people to express themselves too then you’re irresistible.
There, you have it. These are easy to implement steps you can add to your day regularly. If you journal about your intention and follow through you will find that you feel more confident more times than you’re not. Good luck and if this resonates with you and you think you need more help boosting your self-confidence, then go ahead and get in touch with me through one of the links below.